Take What They Have to Give You

When I’m walking my dog, I get lots of compliments on how beautiful he is. Then, inevitably, they ask the question, “Can I pet him?” And I say, “No.”

The shelter fed us stories about all the things he didn’t like: other dogs, men, children. And while they meant well, they didn’t really understand him. He doesn’t use a complicated set of criteria to determine what he likes and what he doesn’t. It’s actually very simple. What my dog doesn’t like is being touched by strangers.

When we brought him home from the shelter I wanted nothing more than to run my hands through his thick fur and snuggle up next to him. But he growled at me if I reached out to pet him. Not an angry growl, just a warning – don’t touch. Even now he only tolerates me. I can get close, and pat his head or scratch his back, but no snuggling.

It’s hard for me to take. He’s my dog, he should give me what I want, right? Yet, he’s a dog. I can’t reason with him, can’t demand he let me snuggle him. All I can do is take what he has to give me.

That’s true of people, too. Not everyone is going to like you, or be able to give you the things you want from them. We like to think that because we can talk to them that somehow we can convince them to give us the things that we want from them. But for whatever reason, they may not have it to give you, even if they do have it for someone else. Ultimately all you can do is take what they have to give you.