Diet, week 2. Veggies, I’m coming for you!
Week 1 went well. I drank much water. Can’t say as I really noticed all that much of a difference, except in TMI ways that aren’t really pertinent to the goal. And of course, since I told myself I was going to do this in easy stages, I find myself wanting to run out and do weeks 1-4 at once, go to the gym, take up jogging, and all manner of “good for me” things.
This is how it begins.
I’m amped up, ready to make ALL THE CHANGES. The enthusiasm feels good! I can do anything! But enthusiasm is a lie. Because eventually it fades, and soon the daily trip to the gym doesn’t feel good anymore, it feels like a just another item on the to-do list. Then, instead of wanting to go, I dread having to go. I’m tired, and hungry and bored (so bored) and no one will notice if I skip just this once. Or twice. Or month. Or…six.
Traditional diets are the same. Figuring out what to eat is work. Denying myself that sweet, sweet milkshake I want so badly becomes negative reinforcement. The milkshake is bad, I say to myself. I shouldn’t drink it. Then it isn’t a big leap to “I’m bad for wanting it.” Of course I want it! Sugar lights up the pleasure centers of the brain. Calling myself a monster for wanting, or occasionally consuming, high-calorie treats isn’t going to make that craving go away. All it’s going to do is convince me there’s no point anymore, since I’m a horrible person who might as well be fat, since no one really cares about me anyhow.
OK, maybe that last bit is just me. Thanks, Mom.
So I’m having to throttle myself down. This isn’t an exciting new adventure! This is the new normal. More water, boolean veggie test. Had to catch myself this morning – I made eggs for breakfast and had to figure out the vegetable I had on hand that would go with them. Cucumbers in vinegar. Not quite pickles, they’d only been splashed with vinegar instead of truly pickled, but there was half a cup of them. Threw in a sliced pear sprinkled with cinnamon for a sugary kick.
It’s not all doom and gloom, though. I’m kind of having fun scouring the internet for new recipes. Especially since I have to be gluten-free now, I got into a rut. I found out what was safe to eat and stuck to it, but that kind of made eating boring. Same old stuff for breakfast, same old restaurants for lunch where I ordered the same old dishes. Comfort carbs at home, since I couldn’t easily get them elsewhere. Yawn. I’m shaking myself out of the ennui of food allergies. I think that’s probably a good thing.
No weigh-in. I’m actively stopping myself from stepping on a scale. If I focus too much on the weight, I’ll obsess over the diet and I’ll rush into making ALL THE CHANGES. Nope, nothing to see here. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along. At least until week 5, anyway.
And veggies, I’m coming for you.
Ericka Kahler 